At the Beach (Theme: At the Beach) by Jan Simson

Barbara and Milly met one another on an internet dating site,

Fell in love, moved in with each other, all on the very first night.

One day at Macdonald’s, veggie burgers in hand, gluten-free fries in the other,

Mill said to Babs, I so love your abs, we ought to get married, my lover,

(Mill was from Devon.)

Oh super, said Babs. Can we go on the piste in Switzerland, Austria or France?

No, said Mill, got a last-minute deal, in Bognor, I’ve paid in advance. 

Bognor is lovely at this time of year. I’ve got it all planned. Don’t worry, my dear,

We’ll take elderflower cordial, some nice veggie quiche, then get ourselves married down at the beach.

We’ll arrange for a vicar, a witness too, and I want some alpacas, but donkeys will do.

So the big day arrived, a week after they met, all was in order, the wedding was set,

But just as the marriage was about to begin, nobody noticed the tide coming in.

The vicar, the animals, the witness ran free, but a big wave swept Milly and Babs out to sea,

But fear not, my friends, this is not how it ends, for on an island far out of reach,

There are two happy lasses eating quiche and molasses,

In paradise down at the beach.